Our thoughts shape our reality. Yet sometimes the way we think isn’t as balanced or accurate as we might hope. As a psychotherapist and trauma therapist, I’ve witnessed firsthand how unhelpful thinking patterns — also known as cognitive distortions — can influence our emotions, behaviours, and overall well-being. These mental shortcuts may serve a protective purpose, especially in the face of emotional pain or uncertainty, but over time they can trap us in cycles of negative thinking that obscure reality. In this article, I’ll explore what cognitive distortions are, why they occur, and how you can begin to recognise and challenge them to create a more balanced, healthy mindset.
What Are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are habitual, inaccurate ways of thinking that distort our perceptions of ourselves, others, and the world. They can arise automatically, almost like reflexes, especially when we’re under stress or emotional duress. Although these patterns might seem helpful in the short term — by providing an immediate sense of order or by protecting us from emotional pain — they ultimately reinforce negative beliefs and make it harder to respond to life’s challenges with clarity and balance.
Imagine your mind as a powerful computer. It processes a vast array of information every day, making split-second decisions about what matters most. However, this processing isn’t always objective. Factors such as past trauma, deep-seated beliefs, and emotional intensity can skew the input, resulting in “glitches” in our thinking. These glitches are what we call cognitive distortions.
It’s important to remember that having cognitive distortions is a normal part of the human experience. They are not a sign of weakness or failure; rather, they are a testament to our brain’s attempt to make sense of a complex world. The key lies in recognising these distortions and gently guiding our thinking toward a more realistic and compassionate view.
The Origins and Purpose of Cognitive Distortions
Why do our brains sometimes betray us by distorting reality? The answer lies in both evolution and our individual life experiences. Cognitive distortions may have originally evolved as a kind of mental “safety net.” In our early history as hunter-gatherers, quickly interpreting a situation — even if imperfectly — could mean the difference between life and death. A slight bias toward anticipating danger helped ensure survival, even if it sometimes led to overreactions.
In our modern lives, however, this survival mechanism can misfire. Instead of keeping us safe, cognitive distortions might fuel anxiety, depression, and interpersonal difficulties. They can cause us to overgeneralise from a single negative event, catastrophise small setbacks, or unfairly label ourselves and others. Over time, these patterns become deeply ingrained, forming a lens through which we view every experience.
For example, if you’ve been hurt in a past relationship, you might subconsciously expect that history will repeat itself — leading you to interpret neutral or even positive interactions as signs of impending betrayal. In this way, your brain is attempting to shield you from further pain, even as it reinforces a narrative that limits your ability to experience healthy relationships.
A Closer Look at Common Cognitive Distortions
To understand how these distortions work, it helps to examine the specific types that frequently arise in our thoughts. While there are many ways to categorise cognitive distortions, let’s explore several common themes that might resonate with you. In the following sections, I’ll describe each category in narrative form and include ideas for how these could be visually highlighted.
1. Rigid Thinking and Perfectionism
At the heart of rigid thinking is an insistence on inflexibility. Some people find themselves trapped by the belief that they must always be right, or that perfection is the only acceptable outcome. This way of thinking leads to “should” and “must” statements that can create feelings of guilt and shame. For instance, you might insist that “I must never make a mistake,” and when an error inevitably occurs, you spiral into self-criticism. This type of thinking can paralyse you, leading to procrastination, fear of taking risks, or an ongoing sense of dissatisfaction with yourself and your achievements.
2. Distorted Perspectives on Control
Our need for control is another common arena for cognitive distortions. Some people oscillate between feeling that they are entirely in charge of every outcome (an unrealistic internal control) or believing that life is completely dictated by external forces. This can manifest as over-responsibility, where you take on undue guilt for circumstances outside your influence, or as a belief that you can force others to change to meet your needs. These distortions can lead to feelings of overwhelm or helplessness, as you try to manage not only your own life but also the behaviour and reactions of those around you.
3. Negative Self-Perception and Self-Worth
How we see ourselves is often at the centre of cognitive distortions. Negative self-perception distorts our ability to appreciate our strengths and achievements. Labels we give ourselves such as “failure” or “loser” stick to us, even when the evidence suggests otherwise. This category also includes the tendency to discount positive feedback or accomplishments — effectively disqualifying the good in your life. Such distortions can erode your self-esteem and contribute to feelings of depression, making it challenging to embrace a balanced view of who you are.
4. Misinterpreting Others’ Thoughts and Intentions
Relationships are often strained by the misinterpretation of others’ behaviours and intentions. Cognitive distortions in this realm can lead to “mind reading,” where you assume you know what someone else is thinking — usually something negative about you — without any solid evidence. Alongside mind reading, you might jump to conclusions about how others view you or even shift the blame away from yourself. This misinterpretation can lead to unnecessary conflicts and deep-seated mistrust, undermining the quality of your relationships.
5. Emotional Reasoning and Cognitive Filtering
Our emotions are powerful, and they can colour our perceptions dramatically. When you fall into the trap of emotional reasoning, you assume that your feelings reflect objective reality. This is closely related to cognitive filtering, where you selectively attend to negative details while ignoring the broader, more balanced picture. Such distortions can trap you in a cycle where your mood becomes both the lens and the conclusion, leaving little room for balanced perspective.
6. Exaggerating or Distorting Reality
Some cognitive distortions involve making mountains out of molehills. When you magnify the importance of a small setback or minimise significant achievements, your perception of reality becomes skewed. This distortion can lead to catastrophic thinking, where every minor error is seen as a precursor to disaster. These distortions can escalate everyday stress into overwhelming anxiety, making it difficult to see setbacks as natural parts of life.
7. Fairness, Justice, and Reward Fallacies
Another common distortion revolves around the idea of fairness. Many of us hold onto the belief that life should be fair, and that good deeds should yield good rewards. When reality doesn’t match this expectation, disappointment and feelings of resentment and anger can build up and turn into chronic dissatisfaction and bitterness.
8. Black and White Thinking and Rigid Judgements
Many of us see the world in extremes: something is either all good or all bad, with no grey area in between. This black-and-white thinking makes it difficult to appreciate the nuances of most situations. Rigid judgements about ourselves and others — often formed without enough evidence — can further reinforce this all-or-nothing mindset. This type of thinking can limit your ability to adapt and grow, locking you into outdated patterns that fail to reflect the complexity of human experience.
9. Compartmentalisation and Emotional Avoidance
Sometimes, in an effort to cope with overwhelming emotions, we may compartmentalise our experiences — separating conflicting thoughts and feelings so we don’t have to face the discomfort of their intersection. While this can be a useful temporary strategy, over time it can lead to emotional detachment and a fragmented sense of self. This avoidance prevents us from integrating our experiences fully, making it harder to achieve genuine emotional healing and balance.
How Cognitive Distortions Impact Our Lives
The cumulative impact of cognitive distortions is profound. When our thinking is consistently skewed by these patterns, it can set off a chain reaction of negative consequences. Rigid thinking might lead to avoiding challenges due to a fear of making mistakes, while a distorted self-perception can drain self-confidence and even intensify symptoms of anxiety and depression. Misinterpreting others' intentions may cause conflict in relationships, and catastrophising can fuel chronic stress.
In daily life, these distortions shape how we make decisions and interact with the world. You may struggle to see alternative perspectives or dismiss evidence that contradicts your negative beliefs. Over time, this reinforces unhelpful thought patterns and creates self-fulfilling prophecies — expecting failure might unconsciously lead you to act in ways that bring about that failure.
Cognitive distortions can also interfere with therapy. Even when learning coping strategies or making progress, deeply ingrained thought patterns can act as mental roadblocks, replaying past failures or predicting future setbacks. Recognising how these distortions shape our thinking is a crucial step in breaking free from their grip.
Identifying and Challenging Cognitive Distortions
The first step toward changing unhelpful thinking patterns is awareness. Once you begin to recognise when you are engaging in distorted thoughts, you can start questioning their validity and replacing them with a more balanced perspective.
Recognising the Distortions
Pay attention to your inner dialogue. When a thought feels overly negative, rigid, or self-defeating, pause and ask yourself:
What kind of thought is this?
Does it follow a familiar pattern?
Is there concrete evidence to support it?
Stepping back and questioning these thoughts helps you view them more objectively. Often, what first seemed like undeniable truth is actually a distortion — an automatic assumption rather than an accurate reflection of reality.
Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts
Once you've identified a cognitive distortion, the next step is to challenge it. Instead of automatically accepting it as fact, examine the evidence both for and against it. For example, if you think, “I always fail,” ask yourself:
Can I name times when I have succeeded?
What examples contradict this belief?
Is this thought helpful or realistic?
This process, known as cognitive restructuring, is a core technique in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). By actively questioning assumptions and looking at the bigger picture, you weaken the power of distorted thoughts.
Reframing for a Balanced Perspective
Reframing means replacing a distorted thought with a more balanced, realistic version. Instead of thinking, “I’m a failure because I made a mistake,” try reframing it as:
"I made a mistake, but that doesn’t define me. I’ve learned from it and can do better next time.”
Imagine how you would speak to a friend in the same situation. Offering yourself that same kindness and understanding can be a powerful tool in shifting your mindset.
The Role of Trauma Therapy
For trauma survivors, cognitive distortions can be even more deeply ingrained. Traumatic experiences can warp your perception of yourself, others, and the world, reinforcing feelings of guilt, shame, or distrust.
Therapies such as Trauma Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS) help process trauma while addressing cognitive distortions. These approaches allow people to reframe negative self-beliefs, build emotional resilience, and reconnect with a more compassionate view of themselves.
Recognising the role trauma plays in shaping cognitive distortions can make it easier to separate past experiences from present reality, allowing for more balanced thinking and healing.
Self-Compassion and Cognitive Flexibility
One of the biggest challenges in overcoming cognitive distortions is self-judgement. Often, we are our own harshest critics.
Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend to a friend or loved one. When you catch yourself using “should” or “must” statements (“I should always be successful”), remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. Imperfection is part of being human.
Developing cognitive flexibility — the ability to see situations from multiple perspectives — can help reduce distress. Instead of rigid, black-and-white thinking, cultivate an openness to different viewpoints and new possibilities.
Integrating Cognitive Restructuring into Daily Life
The goal of challenging cognitive distortions is not to eliminate all negative thoughts — an impossible task — but to develop a more balanced way of thinking. Here are practical ways to incorporate cognitive restructuring into your routine:
1. Celebrate Small Wins
Change happens gradually. Recognise small victories, such as catching a cognitive distortion before it spirals, or choosing a more balanced perspective. These moments add up and reshape your mental landscape over time.
2. Use Thought Journalling
Writing down distorted thoughts and actively challenging them can provide clarity. Keep a journal where you record negative thoughts, examine the evidence, and reframe them.
3. Ground Yourself in the Present
Cognitive distortions often stem from fears about the past or future. Practicing mindfulness — such as deep breathing or grounding exercises — can help bring you back to the present moment.
4. Seek Feedback from Others
When in doubt, ask a trusted friend or therapist if your thinking sounds balanced. External perspectives can help identify distortions that might not be obvious to you.
The Bigger Picture: Why Cognitive Flexibility Matters
Understanding and challenging cognitive distortions isn’t just about reducing distress — it’s about reclaiming your narrative. When distorted thinking dominates your self-image and interpretation of events, you become trapped by your own mind.
Cognitive flexibility, on the other hand, allows you to adapt, grow, and navigate life’s challenges with resilience. By questioning negative assumptions and making room for a more balanced perspective, you gain the freedom to engage with life in a healthier, more fulfilling way.
A Final Word: You Are Not Your Thoughts
Perhaps the most empowering message in this journey is this: you are not your thoughts. The mind can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy, depending on how you engage with it.
Cognitive distortions, no matter how convincing, are just learned patterns. They do not define you. By learning to identify, challenge, and reframe these distortions, you take back control of your inner narrative.
Conclusion
Cognitive distortions are like funhouse mirrors — while they may have once helped us navigate difficult situations, they now often distort reality in ways that hold us back. By understanding how these patterns influence our thinking, whether through perfectionism, catastrophising, or black-and-white thinking, we can begin to shift our perspective.
The process of challenging cognitive distortions is both an art and a science. It requires the awareness to recognise when your mind is misleading you and the courage to question deeply held assumptions. But the rewards can be life changing.
It’s easy to fall into automatic thought patterns. Yet, by stepping back and observing your inner dialogue, you empower yourself to rewrite your story.
Embrace cognitive restructuring as a lifelong journey rather than a quick fix. Every effort you make, no matter how small, is a step toward a healthier, more resilient mind.